Such A Comfort

Image by kalebdf via Flickr

Two weeks ago I had the rest of my thyroid removed. It was always something that I knew was going to happen, but since I’ve had it out, it’s really quite annoying. I haven’t felt as good as I thought I would. Granted, when I had the first half out, I was 15. No one remembers what happened when they were 15, so I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that the length of my recovery is longer than expected.

I bring this up because it’s been bothering me a lot lately. I haven’t felt “good” because I’ve been sore, which limits my ability to do stuff that I’d normally do (like go golfing on my little-old-lady golf league).
So my frustration has come to a head this week. I have felt lazy, I have felt lame, lonely, slightly disfigured (to the steristrips that refuse to come off) and generally am a bit of a mess.

I’ve been reading “My Life In France” by Julia Child and her enthusiasm for the French culture (and cuisine) is infectious. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to have such passion. Julia’s comes off the page in such a way that it nearly slaps you on the back of the head, right before she says “But what is it that you like to do?” (much like Stanley Tucci does in the movie “Julie and Julia“)

With this sort of reading keeping me company before I go to bed, I’ve been able to pull myself out of the funk I’ve been in (for the most part). I’m really an expert in wallowing, and since my mother has gone back to Atlanta, it does no good to wallow with just my dad around. He’s pretty cool most of the time-but he’s still slightly perturbed by a crying daughter.
Julia’s zest for cooking, as well as her sheer zest for life, has taught me that wallowing isn’t as productive as one would hope. Granted, I still will wallow. But I can’t help but think that I musn’t let it become a “thing”.

So how has Julia helped? I have cooked lunch every day. I have made frittata, tilapia with homemade salsa verde, pasta salad (with great dressing)…I have discovered a simple joy in making something that is mine. To say that it has changed my life completely is an overstatement. But these days, whatever can bring me a bit of joy is worth the effort.

Julie says it best in “Julie and Julia”

You know what I love about cooking? I love that after a day when nothing is sure and when I say nothing, I mean nothing. You can come home and absolutely know that if you add egg yolks to chocolate and sugar and milk, it will get thick. That’s such a comfort.

To say that Julia has “pulled me out of the ocean” is being overdramatic. But she has reminded me to explore things that bring me joy and to find my passion, whatever that may be.

Advertisement